1. Latest Updates
2. FAQ
3. Stages
3.1. Chop Chop's Amazing Paychic Powers
3.2. Firedogs and the way people use them
3.3. 80's Surf Rocking Lagomorph Babies
3.4. Heavy Metal Jet Plane-ing Action
3.5. F**king aye! I need a guitar!
3.6. I'm in hell? But... but... I'm just a guitarist!
3.7. The Big Finale- Refer to the Fruites Dojo for details
4. Secrets
5. Deep Thoughts/Notes
6. Credits
Yo! Stage 2 has been added to the Stages section and a the first secret
has been added, in case you haven't heard of it in every single video game
site known to man! Also, in a John Woo-ish sequence, I dueled with my
carbon copy from Hell armed with only a gun and a pack of Bubblicious! It
was really a lot of fun!
4-6-99
Greetings, and welcome to the first ever UmJammer Lammy FAQ! It's a great
honor to be doing this, but I mainly did this FAQ right now so people
could view my ultra-spiffy ASCII rendition of the UJL Japanese logo/
kanji/romanji and an overall premise of the levels of the game. If you
have any information you can send me, I'd be glad to accept it (With the
proper credit given.) Ready?
Q: Why do you have an FAQ section at this point? Nobody's e-mailed you
about this game yet!
A: I know that, moron. I'm just answering questions that might be asked.
Q: Have you beaten the game?
A: Hell, no. I'm writing this as we play. What the.... DAMMIT! You
screwed me up! Get out of the room!
Q: The import won't work on my modded PSX. What's the problem?
A: This game has one o' dem "modchip protection schemes." If it senses
a modchip on a US Playstation, it'll..... um.... not run. And stuff.
There are two resolutions to this dilemma:
1) Get a GameShark
2) Get a japanese Playstation
or 3) Get a GameEnhancer. (http://www.modchip.com) It doesn't bypass the
function to check what nationality your PSX is, it just works like a
Sega Saturn modification pack, tricking your system is Japanese and,
thus, technically is not a modchip. Plus it uses GameShark codes and
plays FMV and audio. Asskicking, eh?
Q: So how would getting a GameShark help?
A: Well, there is an import bypass code to enter in order to play the game.
the codes are:
90000000 0000
D01DA762 1040
8012A762 1000
Does it not kick ass?
Q: WHGER TEH FUK IZ AN ISO 4 TIHS GAM FRO PALY ON BLEEM!
A: Simple. It's over here: http://www.screw.you.south.park.otaku.com/
Q: Why can't I get this line right in Hell?
A: Think about the stage's setting. It's nigh impossible to get the
level done perfectly. Do you have a clue now?
Q: I replayed a stage, and instead of "now loading" there's a big block
of PSX buttons embossed in chocolate! What does it mean? I know it's a
code, but I don't know how or where to enter it!
A: I have no idea. If anyone knows, please e-mail me at
neatoman52@hotmail.com soon!
3.1. Chop Chop's Amazing Psychic Powers (Translation: Now wait a minute!
Who is that?)
Ah, yes. Chop Chop Master Onion. The guy who beats all in PaRappa the
Rapper. The breakdancing vegetable who is impossible to lose against
in a line for the bathroom. This guy kicks ass, and it's impossible to
not like the large root sticking out of his head. Anyhow, Lammy is running
towards the stage door, superbly late for a gig, trying to think up an
excuse that doesn't involve a not-so-cleverly-shrouded reference to
this game's predecessor, that is affectionately refered to as "CaRappa"
by people with less than one brain cell.
*grumbles*
Uh.... Where was I? All right. Lammy gets to the door and, as the stage
hands pop the door open, trips on what I think is PaRappa, what with his
midget status around her and all. I mean MAN! That guy is LITTLE in here!
Even with his leet-ass condom-like ski cap on, he doesn't even measure CLOSE
to Lammy's height! He looks the same size as other people because he stands
when everyone else sits!
Anyway, she trips and falls as the curtains draw for us to see Chop Chop
bust a rather large groove for the rapping bunch. As he is MilkCan's new
vocalist (even though he would have made a great lead dynamic frontman) he
can apparently decide who is in the show or not. Lammy panics and is tossed
a guitar by Katy, of table-dancing fame. And our stage begins.....
Helpful Hints:
#1: All right! This is important! When Peco Peco Master Puddy says for
you to press a button, press it! If you win without this vital skill, then
you must be a leading GameShark encoder or have the omnipotence enough to
make my brain explode right here!
#2: Even if you consider yourself a very large fan of PaRappa and own the
Japanese version, English version, the alarm clock, and the condom-like
ski cap, you will STILL PROBABLY LOSE AT THIS STAGE AT LEAST ONCE! This
game is a LOT more serious when it comes to button timing, and will
probably suck for you if you're new to the rhythym genre!
#3: Even though it might sound cool, don't press square when Chop-Choppity-
Chop tells you to press Triangle! You will lose if you do!
#4: Whenever the screen gets all swirly and "Awful" is flashing, you should
throw your controller at the screen at once! It makes the gimpy people
in the crowd make a face at you and laugh at you for not knowing this
excruciatingly hard one-button combo!
#5: Unlike most pop, rhythym and mainstream stuff, you actually get points
for doing something original! (And by "original" I mean adding on to/
highly screwing up the master's melody so that you don't sound like an
amateur) Hell, you might even get "cool" at some and then break your TV
by chucking your Dual-Shock at the screen from your failing-at-this-ultra-
hard-to-get sequence! Let's all laugh at this stupid rhythymless person!
Do the Macarena, you chump!
So when the stage is finished, Lammy ends up holding a vacuum cleaner in
her hands in place of the guitar. And you'd be surprised how she didn't
notice it until Chop Chop points it out to her. Maybe she noticed how
the neck read "Troy-Bilt" and the whammy bar was making some weird whirring
noises, but you have to admit, she DID kick ass up there. After a pretty
goofy cutscene (Not that it isn't entirely normal for Nana-On-Sha productions,
mind you) the level is finished.
3.2. Firedogs and the way people use them (Translation: B, back off! You're
in the way!)
The dream fuzzes out, and Lammy suddenly wakes up, dazed. After a sigh of
relief, she looks at the clock and WHAM!
After two split-second long cutscenes, she points out that it's 5:45 and
she has fifteen minutes left until the show begins. This hints to the fact
that she can't distinguish AM from PM while setting her alarm clock, and
wanted to get up nice, bright, and early that morning to practice her
complicated guitar solo. Nonetheless, after her long parties with Sunny,
Katy, and Ma-San involving booze and cigarettes, it would be reasonable that
she would sleep for about sixteen hours afterwards.
So she begins dashing off to the fire EXTREMELY fast, which is a lot like
running down cars and cutting them off as they burst into flames. She
almost mows down a bunch of people as she slams down the brakes and wears
the rubber down off her shoes.
This apartment is on fire due to a nice Rodney Town pizza cooking a bit
too long. You won't find Pizza Hut making that kind of decision! No,
Pizza Hut's new Rodney Towner pie is large, crispy, foldable, and loaded
with about two toppings legally avaliable in that state (As to not offend
anyone of that species, you see.). Anyway, the lead firedog says that he'll
block off all the roads until the fire is out. Whoop-a-dee-doo.
Lammy shoves everyone out of her way and asks Chief Puddle if she can go
over across the road. Chief Puddle politely tells her to BACK the HELL OFF!
GET A HOSE, YOU BITCH! NOW! After a few flashbacks related to the first
stage, the stage begins......
Helpful hints:
1. This stage deals with some more complicated button patterns, but they
aren't all that challenging. Most of the button sequences involve the same
buttons paired together. It's repetetive, and as so, is extremely fun!
2. Teach your toddlers motor skills by handing them a PSX controller
and a copy of this game! Unfortunately, since they have no idea how to
switch discs or enter GameShark codes, they'll probably just be drooling
all over the high-precision laser lens and getting their fingerprints all
over the black side of the disc while looking at the complicated and
neat-looking front of it. Then they'll carve a picture of your pet dog, Muffy,
in the back with a pair of scissors in an attempt to make both of the sides
pretty! Yay!
3. I forget to tell you that when I mean "Original" it doesn't just mean to
randomly press buttons like you just said "Wait, let me figure out my moves."
in Street Fighter Alpha 68. Sure, you may do something awesome like throw
a huge lightning fireball at Joe Chin, but mostly you end up screwing up and
wearing out the magnetic pads in the inside of your Dual Shock and electrocuting
yourself while you say something along the lines of "Holy S**t! Did you just
see what I did?"
3.3. 80's Surf Rocking Lagomorph Babies (Translation: After School Sale)
*COMING SOON* (Save those groovy vibes for later!)
3.4. Heavy Metal Jet Plane-ing Action (Translation: Now which one is my
right hand?)
*COMING SOON* (Vomiting in terror, biotch!)
3.5. F**king aye! I need a guitar! (Translation: You said anything,
didn't ya?)
*COMING SOON* (They cut the wood real thin for the strings)
3.6. I'm in Hell? But.... but.... I'm just a guitarist! (Translation:
Vital Idol)
*COMING SOON* (It's really Lily Tomlin in disguise)
3.7. The Big Finale- Refer to the Fruites Dojo for Details (Translation:
MILKCAN, That's Us!)
*COMING SOON* (Can I put my father's shop's ad on it?)
Yes, in case you didn't know, PaRappa the Rapper is in this game! Fully
playable! Possibly the most easily found secret of all time, all you have
to do is play through the game! The cutscenes in this mode are actually
like reading a not-very-funny comic strip out loud to yourself in an empty
room over and over again. In three frames per second.
Nonetheless, this secret is incredibly fun, since most of the songs are
catchy and stupid (A great combo, in my book.). And the Lammy & PaRappa
cooperative mode is insanely fun to watch PaRappa screw up in the coolest
way. AI is fun.
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5. Deep Thoughts
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In any case, credit has to be given to these people for this FAQ (Which
still has a long way to go, but give me time, I just recieved the game a
week ago). First off would have to be Fritz Fraundorf
(fritz@gaming-intelligence.com and www.thegia.com) for kicking some ass
on his page, the now-404 Fruites Dojo on Cosmo Canyon. He inspired me
to see exactly how screwed up PaRappa is, and I infinitely bow down in
front of him.
Kudos goes to Sean Reiley (seanbaby@hotmail.com and
www.oldmanmurray.com/seanbaby) for inspiring me to be more straightforward
in my humor. Go to his page, you'll laugh your ass off at the screwed up
cartoons, advice, and mindless swearing. Seanbaby, in case you're reading
this after a typo in a search for Scary Spice taking it up the ass, you are
a true god.
If you have anything to contribute to this FAQ, or have flames of which I
will respond to with pictures of my ass, or if you just want to say how
you love the description of my showering technique, e-mail me at
neatoman52@hotmail.com and be extremely happy.
