Thief Simulator Review

The Basics

Put on your ski mask and slip into your favorite leather jacket, it's time for some thieving! First and foremost, I want to say in no uncertain terms DO NOT DO THE THINGS YOU DO IN THIS GAME. THIS IS JUST A GAME, NOT A SUGGESTION OR A PRIMER ON BEING A THIEF. THEFT IS ILLEGAL, THEFT IS A CRIME, AND YOU WILL GET CAUGHT. That being said, crowbars up, let's get started.

Story & Flow

There isn't much of a story when it comes to Thief Simulator. You assume the role of an ex-con who has been bailed out of jail by a stereotypical crime family (so intentionally cliche, in fact, that there's a guy named "Vinny" who calls you on your phone and gives you 'jobs'), and you have to successfully case houses, commit theft, and get away with the crime. You progress through the game via "story missions", but really the missions (or "jobs") are just that; missions with no real story involved at all.

This game is more polished and fun than I could have hoped for. Thief Simulator really makes you feel like a crook on the prowl- you have free reign to stalk the streets, checking out houses and looking for potential weak points to commit crimes. When you aren't skulking about looking for your next smash and grab, you'll be getting specific missions from your contact, Vinny. These jobs can have you doing anything from breaking dishes or other property, to stealing sports cars, but regardless of the heist, the first thing you'll do before a job is case the place.

When scouting or casing a location, you can find some subtle (and not so subtle) hints that will show you weak points and interesting setups so you can pull off the heist. From structural weaknesses to learning target routines, everything you can need to pull off a successful job is available to you, as long as you have a little patience and do your due diligence. Use binoculars, hide in the bushes, cruise around the property, do whatever it takes to put together a plan of attack, making sure to stay out of sight the entire time.

In terms of your actual criminal skill-set, you've got a good amount of mischievous actions to take: you can pick locks, hack systems, break fences, smash windows and loads more. One of the most impressive aspects was in the locks themselves; the various locks actually have different levels of difficulty. For example, a level 1 lock can be opened one way, but a level 2 lock will have a totally different system, meaning you'll have to master various ways of dealing with a host of locks, so it's not all the same minigame in order to successfully open a lock. It really diversifies the experience, as picking locks is a major aspect of the game.

Once you've popped a lock or smashed a window, it's time to get to stealing. When you steal items you gain XP, and depending on how stealthy you are, you'll receive a corresponding grade. Once you've stolen something, like a car for instance, you can break down the parts and sell them individually. Your ill-gotten gains can be sold at the pawn shop, or on BlackBay. BlackBay is a Ebay ripoff website that will let you know if someone is looking for specific items you can find in your heists. There are also places to buy info on houses in your area, a forum to pick up jobs, a website that can net you some new tools, and more. The better the tools you get, the nicer the houses you can break into. Different houses has different security systems, mixing up the challenges and encouraging the player to case houses before rushing in, robbing willy-nilly. There are even trainers in your HQ that allow you to get better at lock-picking or hacking, and it's these small touches that keep the game interesting and me hooked. 

Graphics & Sound

Thief Simulator is surprisingly well made. Granted, it's no GTA, but it has a surprisingly solid design and the graphical quality is high for a title like this. The music takes a back seat in general, as this is more of a "realism" game, but what music there is, is good.

Character models are well made, however there does seem to be the same 5 males and females roaming the streets from time to time. But seeing as how you aren't supposed to be seen by these roaming NPCs, I think this is a forgivable offense. The houses on the other hand...

Holy smokes the architecture in this game is amazing. I spent several nights just wandering the streets and looking at cool houses. The terrain is well designed too, allowing for interesting placement of houses and giving you cover in different situations. The terrain and house variations really change how you approach each job, and the creativity in the design really shows.